


At Long Last (Working Title)

by boboton



Category: Original Work
Genre: Drama & Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay, Gay Romance, Gay Sex, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Regency Romance, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Victorian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6152029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boboton/pseuds/boboton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver Butler, the illegitimate son of a traveling tradesman and a impoverished washwoman, pays his way working as a custodian at the Haverford School for Boys in London. Ever since he began working at the school at the age of eleven, he has had to suppress his unnatural feelings for his best friend, Julian Durant, future Earl of Ainswood.</p><p>After parting ways at the end of their schooling, Oliver and Julian never saw one another again. Until, that is, Julian returns to London after the sudden death of his father to claim his seat in the House of Lords. As the two friends reunite, old feelings begin to arise once more. The question is, how will our two heroes find their way to one another?</p><p>*	*	*</p><p>This is an original work that is very much a work in progress. It is a concept that I envisioned in the heyday of my obsession with Regency Romances, but I desperately wanted to combine my love of gay romance with one of my favorite genres of fiction.</p><p>Chapters will not be written in order; rather, I will post content as I write it. I will try to give a sense of timeline in my author's comments. Please give me feedback you may have, as I have never written a novel before and I appreciate any input whatsoever!</p>
            </blockquote>





	At Long Last (Working Title)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a scene towards the beginning of the novel. Oliver and Julian have a well-established friendship and spend most of their time with one another. Oliver has harbored intense feelings for Julian for years, but has never acted on them in any way. This scene is a sort of catalyst in their relationship, after which Oliver believes that his secret is no longer safe and Julian stubbornly tries to convince himself that he feels nothing for Oliver.

Julian guffawed loudly at the boys stumbling behind him, all of them attempting to proceed through the school’s front gate simultaneously, without luck. Oliver, always the designated responsible caretaker, plucked the wiggling bodies two-by-two away from the entrance so that Julian could enter, followed by his mates. Julian glanced back at Oliver with a twinkle in his eye as if to condemn the absurd behavior of his numerous sheets to the wind comrades, although he himself was no innocent bystander. Oliver chuckled at Julian’s hypocritical renouncement of his peers, which caused Julian to let a sheepish grin spread across his face

The group of boys thundered through the halls of their renowned academic institution, causing waves of echoing sound to reverberate around them. Oliver worried that if they continued this much longer, one of the professors may emerge to deliver them a deserving consequence. Luckily, their flailing bodies moved with enthusiastic haste towards their destination, and before too long they had arrived at their dormitory. Once again, the hoard of students attempted to rush through the entryway, but this time Julian had the good sense to attempt to facilitate the process as best he could on his wavering legs.

They all made their way up to the shared room of ten beds and immediately proceeded to unpack their night’s treasures. Cigarettes, dirty magazines with women’s breasts exposed, and endless bottles of cheap alcohol piled onto the floor in the center of the room, with the inebriated boys gathering in a circle around their collection. As they haphazardly rummaged through their pile, Oliver watched from afar. Julian, noticing that Oliver had once again chosen to remain on the outskirts of the fun, joined him and the two of them stood side-by-side, leaning their weight against the wall behind them.

“Where’s your mementos from tonight?” Oliver asked Julian, only looking at him from the sides of his eyes. Julian grinned his signature devilish grin that never failed to cause Oliver’s stomach to perform somersaults worthy of the most seasoned circus performer. He worked diligently to tamp down this feeling, and instead chose to focus on what Julian had drawn from his pocket.

Oliver swallowed painfully when he realized what was resting in Julian’s hand. It was an intricately carved snuffbox that Oliver had offhandedly told Julian about the week before after returning from his daily errands.

Julian looked up into Oliver’s unreadable face and said, “I hope it’s the right one. I had a devil of a time finding the shop you told me about. I had no idea what in the bloody hell a ‘binnacle’ was but you said there was one in the window, so I went into a few shops and had to ask the shopkeepers like a bloody child if perhaps they knew if there were a bloody binnacle in their shop window. I felt like when I was little and my mother would take me to get ices and I had to look at my feet and beg for a taste of ‘just one more, please, sir.’”

Oliver grinned at the image Julian’s story called to mind, and he carefully accepted his newly promoted most prized possession from Julian’s nimble fingers. Then, thinking the other boys were too drunk or absorbed in their inventory of goods spread before them to notice, Oliver pulled Julian in for a brief embrace, making sure to keep his hands in the appropriate places and to let go after exactly one and a half seconds had passed.

Unfortunately, the other boys did in fact notice this exchange and one of them shouted, “Oi, lovebirds! Seems as though you two have volunteered yourselves for the first round of Confess or Acquiesce!” Oliver’s eyes widened, but he quickly recovered his composure, knowing full well that to show any signs of fear would only worsen the situation.

“I think our dear _Monsieur Bonhomme_ is itching to go first, don’t you boys?” A loud ruckus of concurrence answered back. “So, Butler, will you confess your secrets or will you acquiesce your power and instead place your fate into our delicate and loving hands?” He batted his eyes with a false innocence and waited for Oliver’s reply. _(A/N: bonhomme literally means "good man" in French, the boys use it as a derogatory term to refer to Oliver's status as a glorified servant)_

Oliver’s heart was racing. He had never played this game before and it seemed as if whatever choice he made, there would not be a positive outcome. He wandered to the middle of the circle, appearing to the outside world as if his organs weren’t shriveling at the thought of what was to come, and swooped down to grab the closest bottle his fingers could reach. As he took a long and healthy swig of what tasted like a diabolical mixture of horse piss and cleaning solution, the room exploded in laughter and enthusiastic encouragement.

Once Oliver felt heat spread throughout his body, his muscles began to relax and he was able to consider his options carefully. Almost immediately, he determined that it would be beyond catastrophic to choose to “confess” as he was unwilling to share any of his private thoughts with these savages, especially seeing as how to do so would mean certain death. Therefore, he knew he must acquiesce as he figured the worst they would force him to do would be a thousand times less painful than what they would do to him if they knew his most private thoughts.

After thoughtful consideration, he halfheartedly mumbled “Acquiesce.” The boys around him, save for Julian, guffawed with glee and the boy who had spoken before raised his arms to hush the rest of the group.

“Our dear, loyal, reliable, stuffy Butler has elected to acquiesce his autonomy to us lot.” At this, the group once again exploded with mirth but soon after the boy hushed them once more. “Seeing as how our favorite comrade Julian is such a good old sport, I don’t think he’d mind if we sicced our new friend on him.” Oliver looked over at Julian in confusion, unsure as to what these boys could possibly be planning. However, having played this game many times before, Julian’s face turned white and he gazed unhappily back at Oliver. Understanding beginning to creep into Oliver’s fuzzy consciousness, his knees seemed to have turned themselves into useless bundles of fiber, and he had to grasp a bedpost to remain standing.

Oliver’s wide eyes met Julian’s equally petrified face and he heard the boy speaking once more, as if he were a long distance away. “Just in case good old Butler needed clarification, the official Acquiesce challenge is to grace our dear old Julian with a loving, lascivious, and lingering embrace. This embrace is to last no less than thirty seconds, and both parties must submit. Seeing as how they were in an embrace of their own just a few minutes ago, I don’t see how this could be a problem, do you boys?” Though it would normally be difficult to hear over the hysterical laughter coming from all directions, Oliver heard every cursèd word with the utmost clarity.

Meanwhile, Julian had been creeping ever closer towards Oliver, and placed his hand gently on his back. Though the gesture was meant to be comforting, Oliver nearly fell over from his shock at being touched as well as his distraught state. Julian, speaking softly enough so that only Oliver could hear, said “If we don’t do this, they’ll only make it worse. They’ll make us dance naked next to the headmaster’s bed or something.” Oliver nodded, knowing that they would show him no mercy and that it was very likely that they would force him to do something that would get him expelled.

He had nothing outside of this school, and if he were expelled he would never see Julian again. As he thought this, he gazed into Julian’s eyes which stared back at him with a mixture of empathy, fear, and what he thought might be disgust. Oliver wished he could feel that last emotion right now in this moment, but instead he felt scared yet undeniably elated.

He wasn’t sure if touching was required of this embrace, but as he leaned in towards Julian’s reddened face, he heard another boy yell “like you mean it, boys!” and so he placed his hand gently on the curve of Julian’s neck. His senses were so heightened that he felt the downy hairs on his friend’s neck raise into tiny bumps, although from nervousness or the chilly air Oliver couldn’t tell. In turn, Julian’s hands snaked around Oliver’s waist, causing his back muscles to ripple in pleasure and his legs to become ever more so like useless appendages. Oliver watched as Julian’s face became closer and closer to his own and, when they were nearly touching, his impossibly long blonde eyelashes fluttered closed. Oliver wondered if they were as delicately soft as they looked, but immediately became aware once more of what was about to happen.

He licked his lips slightly without knowing that he did so, and then gradually, with the utmost care, placed his trembling lips upon Julian’s. He stayed in place, not willing to frighten Julian or misstep in any way, but after what felt like an excruciating eternity, Julian began to press back against Oliver, his lips moving ever so slightly to fit snugly against Oliver’s.

Acting without his consent, Oliver’s body swelled with desire at the feeling of finally touching Julian the way he had always longed to. Unfortunately, this desire did not centralize in his mind or his heart, but rather an organ somewhat lower down on his body. Because Julian was facing the circle of boys, and Oliver was facing away, no one could see the physical manifestation of Oliver’s internal yearning. Too late, Oliver realized that though the boys behind him could not view his shameful secret, his best friend could certainly feel it searing through the clothing that separated them.

As they pulled away from one another, Oliver desperately tried to decipher the emotions flickering across Julian’s face. His eyes met Julian’s, who in turn looked determinedly in the direction of his shoes. This silent exchange took place amongst the uproarious response of their devious audience. In order to hide his shame, as well as to process the tumultuous avalanche of emotions that were dueling for attention in his mind, Oliver promptly headed for his chambers leaving behind a chorus of “aw, mate, we were only joking” and a disoriented, blushing Julian gazing after him.

 

***     *     ***

 

The next day, Julian was dismayed to discover that Oliver did not plan on acknowledging his best friend’s presence whatsoever. He had spotted Oliver sitting alone at one of the breakfast tables, not looking at anyone nor gracing his food with so much as passing thought. Julian had decided that the best tactic to cheer him up was to be his usual devil-may-care self and so he ungracefully sprawled in the chair across from Oliver and immediately began spouting a meaningless tale about his misplaced razor strop. Oliver hadn’t indicated that he had noticed Julian’s presence other than a slight tensing of his shoulders, and perhaps a minute rotation of his body slightly away from Julian’s location.

He decided that the pretend-it-didn’t-happen plan unfortunately wasn’t working and so he decided to address the problem directly.

“Look, mate, half the boys were too drunk to even remember what happened last night and the other half don’t care. They were just messing with you because you’re always so quiet and you never go out with us lot and it’s just sort of an initiation; it means they like you!” After a few seconds of continued silence, Julian was feeling more anxious. “Look, don’t be mad, it didn’t mean anything, it was just a stupid prank! I don’t know why you’re being such a prick about this…” Julian trailed off, angry but unable to bring himself to yell at his oldest friend who was so clearly in distress.

Oliver remained as he was, and eventually Julian gave up and left to prepare for his upcoming lectures. His turned back did not allow him to watch as Oliver’s head slumped slowly forward.

 

 

Oliver wished he felt relieved by Julian’s absence, but he couldn’t feel anything but guilt and loneliness. Last night he had touched himself for the first time in a long time, only instead of picturing Julian’s impish grin or hearing his melodic laughter, Oliver felt the soft hairs on the back of Julian’s gloriously graceful neck, he tasted the wine on his breath, and the saliva on his lips. These feelings were a hundred times more intense than he was accustomed to because he had actually touched Julian in this way; it wasn’t just a fantasy. He had come harder than he ever had before.

Which was why he couldn’t bear to face Julian this morning. He wasn’t sure how he could even face him after having tasted those lips that he had ached for in his dreams so many times. How could he look Julian in the eyes and not think about all the other places on which he longed to kiss him.


End file.
